I got accepted, I got accepted, I got accepted...

And yes, I danced.

I really want to scream. I think I might, when my throat stops hurting.

Today I gave out paper cranes to the people who passed me in the hospital and came up with the perfect 1,000 paper crane project for myself. I am adding my own spin to it and photography is involved; so all should be fun.

I feel really cruddy today. I thought I was getting better, but today I woke up worse than how I started! Arg. I am frustrated beyond belief. I am sick of being sick. Literally, I think. I wasn't feeling well during class today and I don't even remember the quiz...so I can't imagine I did well on it. It's almost Friday, and here I am doing nothing yet again. I want to, but I want to get better first. Or else it'll never go away.

I don't know. I just needed to rant. I'm having a hard time being optimistic with things right now. I'm working on it though.

I would kill for ice cream and I don't even know why. Because I have no appetite.

I'm sorry.

I'm just really upset. I was all excited that I was feeling better...and well, now I'm not. But it's almost the weekend. A full day of work, and then weekend time.

I gave up spending money on anything unnecessary for lent. Today, I bought a shirt from the hospital. It says the name of the hospital and I bought it as a sign for myself. Sort of "I'm buying this because I don't plan on ever coming back" sort of thing. It's more of a personal thing and I really am not counting that towards my what-not-to-buy. I do plan on sticking to my goal. I think it will help a lot with the whole conversing with God thing I've been neglecting to do.

Okay, I'm going to bed.

I just needed to get a few things out.

Thanks for reading.

By the way, if you have read all of this, could you like, write a comment? With at least your name. I had over 50 page views with my last post. I am just curious how that is even possible.

Night, kids.

This is pointless. If you read this, your either really bored, or my best friend. =)

I just have too much on my mind. I need somewhere to put the little stuff. It won't make sense. It's not poetic, nor does it have a hidden or deeper meaning. But it's a needed thing.

I organized my green thing today. Drawer one is my letter-drawer. I have my envelopes and cards in a converse box. I have a notebook of contacts/addresses. Underneath of it I have a folder of plain and lined paper. There's a small green box with regular stamps, postcard stamps, and index cards I've already finished. I also have my postcrossing book in there. I'm waiting on my five sent postcards to arrive at their destinations! ((postcrossing.com)). There is currently a postcard on it's way to Finland, Scotland, Taiwan, China, and Germany. I can't wait to get some as well. I think it will be cool. I love writing letters with simple messages. I rarely get mail outside of bills. Today I did get a 4 pound package from peta. Haha. I kept the stickers.

I want to make a small, wire, elephant.

Today, I bought some food! I'm pretty stoked. I needed things for lunches for work. I got hot dogs, easy mac, lunch meat, cheese, bread, string cheese, ramen noodles, minute rice, and something else. I can't remember what it is. I also bought a SoBe drink-Fruit Punch. It tastes like Fruitopia! I haven't had that in AGES. I loved Fruitopia. Anyone remember that stuff? I also thought about Rocket Power, and amazing nickelodeon show they need to bring back. My favorite character was Otto Rocket. Reggie was cool too though. I think I remember all their names.

I didn't color in my ninja turtle book today. I need more green crayons.

I found my glasses today, too. But not my jacket. I left it at waffle house and it was stolen. So I have no coat. Real great for someone who has Pleurisy, pneumonia, and an ear infection, right? I think so.

I have a calendar that I got for free from Half Price Books. I use it to write one good thing about each day-something short and simple. I went back through and read it just now and these are my favorites:

January 1st says "I colored on my wall"

January 3rd "I told my parents I'm not going to school"

January 4th: "I'm going to school"

January 18th: "napped"

January 26th: "It ended"

January 28th: "Created Blog"

February 1st: "Drove around and looked at rich people's houses"

February 2nd: "Nothing!"

February 6th: "I forget"

Just thought I'd share.

I also went through my pictures today and made a small album of 40 pictures that make me smile. I think I'll post some of them on here eventually.

Gwen and I are going to do a 1001journals project ((1001journals.com)). And we have lots of exciting ideas. We are thinkers, I think. We also are solving a mystery at the moment. And have the ultimate childcare planned out. And are now on a Youth Board. And we make awesome chair sculptures. And she bought me an elephant I named Rodney.

I did laundry today because no one else in my house knows how this week.

This is what I do when I'm stressed. I write down everything I have done, need to do, think about...

I'm listening to good music right now. Jminus rocks, kids. Check it.

I really really want some funny movies, but Idk what's funny. Any suggestions? I want something clean. I'm sick of all this crap that's only funny because it's perverted. I want to laugh. I think I need to.

I can't wait to move out. I am so excited! My dad and I talked a little about it yesterday. Despite what's going on, it's still going to be built in the "spring". However, I don't know exactly when that is. But hey, I'll wait. I get my own floor. I'll be living on the second story of my mom's studio. Rent free! Because I'll be "watching" her equipment. Still have to pay bills and stuff. So I'm predicting I will have no cable and no unlimited texting. I'll need internet for school, I'm sure. But I'm going to have a hard time paying for all this when I'm going to school. So I'm willing to give up things. Besides, I don't watch tv now, I only watch movies. I'm excited to have my own place just so I can grow my movie collection. Haha. I have no more room here to get anything. I can use the bed I have now, I have a chair, I'll need a couch and that's about it. I'll get new stuff eventually, but I definitely have enough to start out with. Well, I think I'll need a table. Haha. But I'm GREAT with finding deals. I thrift shop a lot.

However, I'm not sure what's going to happen if I get accepted to Ball State ((I find out in one week!!!!)). Because I won't be home. Hmm.

I haven't been able to pick up my guitar lately. And I'm going insane. I did the other day and it was great! But it's hard because everyone's asleep when I finally do have time. and my drums are getting lonely, too.

I also organized the hall closet today, too. I organize when I'm stressed. And I ramble. But going through all my sister's junk is definitely a job in itself. She's such a girly girl. I have no clue where she gets it! She has this glitter hair spray that she has used soo much, it's gone. She bought it less than a month ago. Why do you need glitter in your hair anyways? And makeup. She has more makeup than anyone I've met. She doesn't wear it out or anything ((only because I won't let her)) but she still puts it on for fun. OFTEN. Why? She's only 8! I want to buy her chucks, but she has so many shoes, she keeps them in an old toy box, that the lid won't shut. I can fit in this box, mind you. That's wayyy too many. I have 6 pairs now. Geeze guys you only have two feet. Why do you need so many?

I bought one of those re-usable shopping bags from wal-mart today. Mostly because I had too much stuff and couldn't find a cart. But I have wanted one just because. It is kinda nice. You know, go green and all.

If you are still reading this, you deserve something. A cookie or a sucker. I have both.

Sometimes, It only takes a smile.

Sometimes, it only takes a hug to make someone smile.

Or a letter in the mail.

Or a song suggestion.

Sometimes, it takes merely a word reminding them you care.

I know someone who desperately needs a smile.

Beautiful, broken, world.

If you never had an enemy, would you understand the worth of a friend?

-Warren Barfield

So.

Raise your hand if you've ever seen a girl with makeup.

Raise your hand if you've ever seen a guy look in the mirror.

Raise your hand if you have read a headline on a new diet.

Raise your hand if you have ever defined beauty as being associated with one

or all of the above.

Raise your hand.

Because you have.

I've noticed I have some sort of magnetic pull towards things things with quotes.

Little things:

-Jones Soda bottle caps

-Dove chocolate wrappers

-Fortune Cookies

-Starbucks cups

-Taco Bell sauces

-Valentines conversation hearts

I especially love, and am notorious for doing this:

-Writings quotes on walls and bathroom stalls

-Stickers that say simple things

-One-word letters

Which is maybe why it makes my day every time I drive

through Fountain Square and read

"You Are Beautiful"

on the roof of Dolphin. I LOVE things like that.

I think Beautiful is an amazing word. In fact, I think it's my favorite.

How often do you find true beauty?

How often do you feel truly beautiful?

I adore finding the words "You Are Beautiful" because I know that the word

is getting out! Someone has decided to take it upon themselves to

remind the world just how beautiful they are. Despite the negatives that seem to

be in play all around us, it is a beautiful world.

The only beautiful things are the things that do not concern us

-Oscar Wilde

Lately, a lot of terrible things have been brought to my eye in our world.

Strangely enough, along with noticing those things, I've also noticed what is truly

beautiful.

Like quotes.

Memory.

A child's smile.

Talents.

Light.

Silly things, I suppose.

But I like them.

Yes, there are hardships. There is sin, there is disgusting, heart stabbing things

out there. But that's just how it is. That is a part of this life, and I am sick of

focusing on them! I'm tired of hearing only about the

really good or really bad things in the news. What about the simple stuff?

How many of you know what First Friday is here in Indy?

It's one thing I can count on being there to make me feel surreal. A vacation of

sorts, for me. How many of you know the number of short films created

in a single day? You can Google it. But how many of those

are films that made someone reflect on their life? Made them cry even? Smile?

I have things that mean a lot to me, for little or no reason at all. And so do you.

I challenge you to make a list this week.

Or just tomorrow!

Of some of the simple pleasures in your life that maybe you don't notice.

Or ones that you notice, but others don't.

Here's a tiny part of mine:

Prayer

Stars

Shoelaces

Door handles

Flowers

Simple words

Dollar menu

Work

Internet

Snail mail

Telephone lines

Rocks

Pencils

Thought

Rhythm

Coffee

Medicine

Mailman

Trash bags

Rain

Shower curtains

Socks

Sunglasses

Friends

Gas stations

Enemies

Kids

Paint

Soap

Street signs

Stop lights

Clouds

Buildings

Dirt

Senses

Movies

She's just a little girl, time isn't holding her down

she's just a little girl, she never needed a crown...

-Stephen Speaks

"You are depressed."

No shit, really!?

Want to know why?

It's you.

Congratulations.

Your ranting and yelling finally took it's toll.

Now, I have another thing to add to my list.

Reasons I couldn't live up to your standards.

How many is that now?

Or can you not count that high?

I don't need your fake pity.

I don't need your happy pills.

I have God and the sunshine.

I'll make it on my own.

I am tired of hearing what's wrong with me.

You're too sad.

But just around you.

You're sick.

What's new?

Too slow.

Don't care.

Too dumb.

Smart enough.

Short.

It's a ninja thing.

Fat.

Yeah right.

Whatever else we can throw at you.

Not listening.

Guess what?

I'm none of those things.

I am a gift from God.

And to God.

Just because my dreams aren't like yours.

I'm not the 'girl you raised me to be'.

Does not mean I'm wrong.

It means I'm different.

O snap.

Non-conformity.

You'll live.

So will I.

If

you let me go!

Stop trying to fix me!

I'm not broken.

I am.

I need God, but I'm scared.

I talk to Him, but I whisper.

I ask of Him, but I don't give.

I look for Him, but I don't search.

I say the world I a lot.

I've lived a selfish life.

I don't know who I am.

Or even, who I should be.

Or how to find me.

Good thing I'm not looking for me.

I'm looking for I am.

Genesis 15:1 'Do not be afraid Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward.'

John 14:6 'I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the father except through me.'

Isaiah 41:10 'Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you, I will uphold you in my righteous right hand.'

smile

Think about it.

A single word.

A single picture.

A single object.

A single prayer.

Send something to a friend to make them smile.

If you want, send me a picture of it and I'll post it on here. I plan on starting a traveling journal soon, and this will be the theme. Check out 1001journals.com

When did the world become colorful?

So a few years ago, my little sister and I were watching a tv show set a few years back where the characters were watching an old b & w movie. My sister turns to me and says "Sissy, when did the world become colorful?" I asked her what she meant and she replied "When did it stop being black and white like that? Who colored it?"

That is the cutest quote I have ever heard, to this day.

I don't remember what reminded me of that, but I kept replaying that part of my past in my head today. I am always fascinated by the things that kids say and the way their mind works. But this, this really stumped me. I mean, sure, the answer is obvious in literal sense. "Danielle, the world's always been colorful, the tv set could only show black and white at first." However, I can't help but think there is another meaning to this question. Today, I just cleaned and chilled here, so I had a lot of time to think about it. Thing is, out of all the branches of thought that sprouted off this question; the hours (literally) that I've spent thinking about the possible answers; I came up with only one that would work.

"Sissy, when did the world become colorful?"

"When we found hope."

take of it what you want

Side Notes:

Just to clear things up, the blog entitled "sometimes life is like..." is just a blog. No. I did not get turned down by a gay guy. No, I did not fall in love with anyone. But I was having a bad day and I had the same feelings that a girl who got turned down in that way might have. If that makes sense.

By the way, who is "Yours Truly"? It's really bothering me that you won't tell anyone who you are.

Mmm...food....

So you need to go to Maria's pizza right now. 

2930 Shelby St.

Indpls. IN, 46203

The original (and amazing) pizza place.

Any suggestion on other good food places?

Other times life is like...

Sweet! I found a dollar!

Sometimes life is like....

Dear Bobby,

So I finally think I could believe in love. I don't yet. Well, maybe I do. I more just feel like it's possible. But not plausible. You said you loved me. You've said it more than once. Ignoring it worked for awhile, but now, it's always there on my mind. What's on yours?

Love,

Sally.

Dear Sally,

I'm sorry. I'm gay.

Love,

Bobby.

Sometimes, we need a push

Sometimes, we need a pull.

Sometimes, we need a reminder.

Sometimes, we need to forget.

Sometimes, we need to be sat down, slapped in the face, and told to shut up.

And other times, we need to be blinded. So we can truly see.

Most of the time, we need all of the above.

If you were completely blind, but could see for just one hour each month, how would you most often spend your time?

When I first heard this question, my mind jumped immediately to what we consider "beautiful" things. The ocean, mountains, fields, sunsets, colors, nature, everything! I would want to see those! So to go along with my answer, I went searching for pictures on the net of things considered 'amazing', 'beautiful' or 'breathtaking'. After about ten minutes of fishing through some truly well-shot photographs, it hit me.

I stopped.

I almost started to cry even. I realized that the true question is not if we were blind, but this:If you could see clearly, but for just one hour each month you were blind, how would you most often spend your time?

Would it be easier to lean on the things that matter? Like faith, love, and true happiness? I'm not saying that the people whom cannot see, those who were born blind, are stronger in faith and love. Maybe for them, it would be the opposite. An hour a month of sight?

But what if we were given an hour each month to be blind?

Is that not the same effect our trials here on earth can have on us? When we go through rough times, blinding times, does it not usually remind us that we need help? We need something much bigger than our problems? We need God. Plain and simple. I believe that when one becomes blind, they can focus on not only the path that is before them, but both the consequences and opportunities to come and the ones we've come through.

The trials we face can be a blessing in so many ways. Sometimes, I wonder, if they could even be considered trials in the end.

breathtaking

breathgiving

Dear God-

Hey. So it's been awhile. And I think we need to talk. I'm not perfect, and I think it's getting worse. I feel like a disease and I can't take it anymore. I feel like I can't be around anything, or anyone. It's almost like the opposite of a disease. Because it's the things around me that seem contagious. I don't have all the right friends, and I let them rub off on me. When someone tells me I'm not good enough, I listen. When I read or hear about anyone in hollywood, I start to evaluate myself. I listen to everything around me. Everything except you. Does this mean you're not around me anymore? I feel like that's what's happening. I've accumulated so much, and it's all in the way of us. The more I rely on down here, the less weight I need to put on you.

What happened to us?

How do I get you back?

I think your the perfect DB. But why is it, that I can sit here and say I believe in you, I believe that you are my everything, I can admit that you should be my everything, but I can't bring myself to do anything about it? I feel like I know the steps. I've heard them in school for 12+ years. But hearing about you, and experiencing you are way too different. So what do I do now? Dad, I feel like a terrible person. I want to ask "Why on earth did you die for me?" But then I realize, that's the answer. You died for me because of this earth. Because I fell to sin and you gave me a way out. Because you love me. I don't have to be perfect for you to love me. Yeah, that's pretty cool, but it makes me feel like crap. Why do you love people like me? I guess that's not an answer I'll ever understand. *sigh*

Well. Thanks. Thanks for still loving me. I need to say that more often, I know. I will promise to try. But I think I need your help with some things right now. Naturally, I need help with everything. However, there are some things happening in the near future that I'm completely unsure of. And I need to know I can cry on your shoulder. I really hate that it takes intensity to remember you. I will try to work on that. I really want to. But maybe this is what I need. I need to go through the fire sometimes to remember you. Thanks for the bad days. Most of all, thanks for not leaving my side through them. No matter what.

Thanks for fighting for me.

I'm done fighting for myself.

I don't even know who I am anymore.

I want to know you.

You are much more interesting.

Love,

Christina.

This is love, kids.

Who needs a Valentine?

I don't want to hear what you have to say,

I don't give a damn,

You stuck yourself to some fantasy,

And now you want me to live up to what you dreamed up.

That's not going to happen.

Patience, love, I'm only human,

A little girl in this giant world,

I won't put my dreams aside for you,

To fulfill the ones you intended for me.

This is my life.

If, in the end, I am a failure to you,

It will be your loss,

Because to fail is to have succeeded in wisdom,

I will learn from my own mistakes.

So today, I took a step.

I'm one of those "two steps forward, one step back" kind of human.

Sometimes though, I take big steps. So big, that if I do fall back, I'm still ahead.

It was one of those kind of steps today.

And I'm really sorta scared of falling.

You're just a little girl?

What do you know?

She answered in smile.

Put her hand on his arm,

said to sit down,

this might be hard

She sat across

Smiling weak

Without parting lips

began to speak

rolled up her sleeves

Pulled up her hair

Revealing breaks

beyond full repair

Around her throat

down to her back

lay the remains

of failed attacks

Sir, I know more

Than I think I should